comparison...

Last weekend I started to write this blog post for Monday. Then as I was setting the post to be published I felt as if the Lord said just wait. A few days later I again felt the Lord was giving me the "it's time" release, but not without adding to it first. So here is my last weekend post with an addition following...

 

Sunday the 15th:

Last week/weekend we fought another bout of the flu. Thankfully me and the kiddos started tamiflu earlier so it was not nearly as bad as the first time. The Mr on the other hand was not so lucky and was pretty miserable. This also led me down the hole of instagram comparison again. One can only watch so much video games, HGTV and disney movies before needing another outlet. I really have such a love/hate relationship with it. I love it because I can connect with the blog friends I have made over the years that are more far than near and it also can inspire me to get creative, but those times it doesn't... I then start to think maybe I should dress cuter rather than my boring uniforms, I get lost in food pics rather than actually cooking, long hikes with the kids? Forget it, I just started walking short distances without getting winded. Oh and the valentines day cuteness was on overload and by the end of the day I realized I didn't even make the kids or Mr a card never mind heart shaped pancakes, baskets full of goodies, and a romantic meal around the coffee table. We laid on the sofa mostly. Of course none of this is really bad and I really did enjoy seeing everyone showing love to their people. Most of those ways made me smile big. It DOES get bad though when I start feeling bad about myself or wanting to change myself because of a picture. A PICTURE people! When the echo of I FAIL becomes louder than it should. Part of me thinks I just need to stop it all, apparently I have issues, but that also means I may be telling this little blog goodbye. I just don't feel like that time has come though. I have met way too many wonderful people through this blog journey and honestly I'm not 100% sure what else I would do.  Would it be weird for me to set up instagram times like business hours? How do you all battle with comparison? Surely I am not the only one.

Wednesday the 18th:

 By the evening of that Sunday I was feeling rather defeated in my lack of self control. As I fell asleep I prayed asking the Lord what was this feeling all about and I felt a reminder that I was not getting up early seeking Him and giving my day to Him as I have been doing. This caused me to wake up and start my day with making sure the kids are fed, the dog goes out, watching TV, answering emails, and by the end of the week looking at instagram first. I was not waking to the peace He gives me to tackle my day and how I do that is waking an hour earlier before the kids have to get ready for school. With everyone home sick I just lost track of my need for a schedule. I make myself a cup of coffee, wake the kids to see if they want to join me, if so I fix them breakfast, and I then go into my office {a no bickering zone} turn on worship music and pray and soak in the word {bible}, and ultimately I am giving that day to Jesus first. This little routine of mine sets my day up to maybe not go perfect, but even when the busyness happens, when I feel tired and ill, or when things just fall apart in general I am in a better spirit to handle those things.  They seem not to affect me as greatly. I seem to be calmer, less snappy and honestly when I do check instagram it does not make me feel as if I am less than. I was starting my day with me instead of starting my day with Him. I am flawed while He pure in every way. For that, I am grateful for new days and the gift of starting over. His word rings true and for that I am indebted.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

In the Kitchen

The iphone 6 may have changed the way I blog. I was hesitant to get it since I do battle with the phone in general, but the Mr insisted that I would love it for the camera alone. He was right. Granted they will never surpass our pro cameras, but the ease will most definitely help me keep on top of posting. So here is my life in the kitchen as of late through the lens of my iphone...

I have made this fruit crisp three times in the last two weeks. I am obsessed. The recipe is from the book Bread & Wine. It's gluten free and fairly healthy. I eat it as a breakfast and a dessert when topped with my version of ice cream.

recipe: {from Bread & Wine with my additions}

4 cups of fruit, any will do really, but here I am using a frozen mix of blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries.

crisp topping:

1 cup of old-fashioned oats {I used gluten free}

1/2 cup raw, unsalted pecans, halved or chopped {I take mine for a fine chopping in the vitamix, which we bought at a fraction refurbished}

1/2 cup almond meal {this is my favorite to bake with}

1/4 cup maple syrup

1/4 cup olive oil

1/2 tsp salt {I used kosher, and eyeballed a little less than recommended}

Mix together crisp ingredients. Pour berries in 8x8 pan and layer the crisp topping over it. Bake at 350 35 to 40 minutes, or up to 10 min more if it's frozen, until fruit is bubbling and topping is crisp and golden. {takes me 45 min}

 

This little space above the microwave makes me happy. It's also the view I see from the sofa in the tv room.

{little vase found locally from AT HOME, frame bought locally {similar}, black pot {old target, but I like this one too} , cow print, beads I made, tray}

Have you ever made your own pesto? I have not, but found it so easy! I adapted this recipe from Little Dixie Cook. I used what I had on hand since we were sick and was not fit to run to the store. I used arugula in place of the spinach and left out the cheese all together since dairy tends to make me feel bad at times. I used gluten free corn/rice noodles, but can see using it over out trout tonight for dinner. YUM. KJ was a fan too, but the Mr and Ellie would not touch it since it was green. Monkey see monkey do.

Here and There {around the house}

Do you have pieces in your home that just bring you joy? Most of mine are attached to some sort of memory. Things that make me pause and reflect on the good in life.

One would be my art wall. The reflections are awful, but I have to grab images when I can and it happened to be on a sun shiny day last Thursday. The top middle is an image of the me and the kids in New York last winter. The silhouettes are from Disney and well that is the happiest place on earth. The big print is from me and the Mr's 10 year anniversary Miami trip and that is a memory worth preserving.

face painting | abstract on left | abstract on right | lamp found at Scott's in Atlanta | lamp shade

Fresh flowers remind me of my old garden in our old house. I can't wait to get my hands dirty in this house!

This is my newest prized possession. It was a gift from my mother for Christmas. What makes it so special? It was once a wedding gift to my grandparents in 1940. Ellie is named after my grandmother so I know this gift will be passed down to her when she marries. The piece it self was hand drawn and you can see the ink smudge marks. I read it almost daily. {click image to enlarge}

What are some of your favorite pieces in your home?

UNDONE

I got an urge to pick up the camera and see through the lens. Something about only being able to focus on one spot through the viewfinder soothes me at times. What I saw were not vignettes that were perfectly styled or even all that clean as every blogger has trained themselves to do, but I did see a home that is loved. It kind of matches where I am currently in this place the Lord has brought me and I love it, I can finally rest in the undone.

- The curtains are a jumble for some reason. The chair has dirty finger spot. The candle stick is broken. The vase needs flowers. It is undone.

- Joy is found at this table with dinner talks and laughter. The fiddle fig tree has sprung new leaves. Next week this table will be filled with new faces as our small groups begin. It is love.

candlesticks | curtains | light fixture | vase {target} | solid chairs {west elm} | cane chairs {craigslist}

- Below is a pile of dishes that need to be washed. The window sill needs dusting. You can feel the cold air through the old window panes. It is undone.

- The horsehair nest and feathers were loving collected by my children. The scripture rings true. The marble pear has traveled with me throughout the years and reminds me of our old home. It is peace.

- The recycling to the right is piled high. Dog food is scattered on the floor. Crumbs live in this spot. The basket is piled up with food my body hates. We have succumbed to paper plates every day. It is undone.

- The antique table was a birthday gift from the Mr. The worn spots makes me wonder about the life it used to have and the stories it must hold. It makes me happy to know it has a second life here and we can add to those stories. The chalkboard holds a menu that will hopefully lead to better meal planning that will insure we stick to the monthly food budget. The chalkboard also marks our count down to our Disney trip. It is hope.

chalkboard | candle sticks {west elm} | school house light fixture

- The bed is unmade and will remain that way for awhile I am sure. The sheets need to be washed yet again. The window blinds are broken and to be honest have a slight smell. My bedside table is a mess. After all these years I have yet to find the perfect lampshade. It is undone.

- This bed has brought me much comfort these past few weeks and granted my body rest. The books piled high have filled my soul with a deeper connection with Jesus. The small dish holds my wedding rings and keeps them safe from the nearby floor vents. The lamps give light in the dark of night. It is comfort.

sheets {although they discontinued this colorway} | duvet | blanket | ring dish {west elm} | headboard {DIY} | nightstands | water bottle | lamps {scott's flea market}