Getting Answers

The last few days I have woken before my alarm and without an ache that makes my eyes want to shut again. I am praying I am finally on the rode to recover after a few years of feeling progressively worse and worse. Part of me thought it was getting older, having young kids, maybe the combination, but last year I knew something was wrong when my body hurt so bad it was hard to walk and the fatigue was so strong I could spend all day in bed. My digestive tract operated at a snails pace, I would forget the most simplest of things, and my lungs hurt continually. Last fall I began seeing a Dr who said I had fibromyalgia and depression. Fibromyalgia, maybe? Depression, no. I have walked through a season of depression and I knew this was not that.  He insisted and even laughed when I told him that was not it. He refused to do other testing until I took depression medication that should also help my so called fibromyalgia. I did in desperation. I got sicker. Like could no longer function sicker. He refused to listen and I walked away. The beginning of this year I was accepted in to an integrative practice that is in high demand locally and rarely has openings. She is part Dr and practices holistic remedies. First day in and she took every possible test imaginable. This brought me comfort. Once all the tests were back in she found an overgrowth of candida. Like EVERYWHERE. Some candida is good and mine simply was taking over causing my body to shut down. I am taking a good amount of supplements and Nystain to ward off the yeast. My diet is minimal. Kind of like paleo on steroids. Basically we are trying to starve the yeast and in turn me too. ha. I kid. It will also help build back my gut health. I am also being treated for Wilson's Syndrome. It's when your body temperature sits at a low rate. Mine on average is between 96.5 and 97 and can sometimes dip to 96 degrees. I am now taking a timed release of T-3 to try to get my body temp up to 98. She also found that I am allergic to eggs. Who knew. So happy my paleo loving self ate them in multitude daily. Will this be my cure all to get my body and life back? Time will tell, but at least I feel like I am moving forward with some real answers.

*I start my day with this candida detox juice by Elana's Pantry. I use only two big cumbers and always forget to add the ginger. I use my vitamix and remove the skins. I make two mason jars at a time and save one for the next morning or a mid-day push.

* This book is still a fave for all things gut health.


Are you a morning person? I have never been one. Slept through the night easily as an infant my mother praises and as I entered my teen years my mornings soon vanished to afternoons. Of course now that I am a so called adult I in turn morphed into a want to be morning person. It was more out of need than want really. The kiddos need to get to school on time and a hectic morning is not becoming for me. It can leave the whole day feeling rushed and flustered. I now have a routine that serves me well. I rise around 7:15 wake the kids and as they bustle around getting all their stuff together I sit with a cup of tea {used to be coffee, darn dr ordered detox diet} and read. Most times it's the bible. Other times it can be a good book that I have trouble putting down or school papers from the day before. When needs arise the kiddos come dashing in with a question, comment, or he said she said. They can find me here, at our kitchen table overlooking our garden.


When we first moved in I had trouble finding my morning spot to perch. So many of our spaces were too disheveled to enter into the day peacefully. I am a creature of habit and in need of constants. I knew this space was meant to be that. Close enough to the activity center, but still outside of it. Without chairs and having only mismatched stools to occupy my old desk, now turned kitchen table, it was not possible for me to feel at rest here waiting to concur the day. Instead it served me a list of to-do's that grew every day. That's when Industry West so graciously asked it I needed help with any areas of our new home. YES!


New chairs  with legs to long after for an old table now has become my morning space of solace. Best part is that when the kiddos have friends over or we have our weekly small group this space can continue being surrounded by laughter and good food. This space has not only become my perch, but also for the ones I love.


Going to the Dark Side

This week I decided to tackle painting the kitchen. Before we moved in I was so sure I wanted a white bright kitchen with warm woods, but a couple of months in and I knew the kitchen would be so much better going dark. The above images kept on calling my name and the bottom left image that I found during an instagram troll sent me over the edge. I went with Railing by Farrow and Ball and color matched by Sherwin Williams. Our current kitchen is only a temporary one so I knew taking a risk would not be an issue. I'm part way done and already know that this color will live on. Thursday you will get a small glimpse on the project while sharing the kitchen table area completion. Slowly but surely checking that list off! It feels oh so good.


check, check. Completing a project can make my heart sing. Why is that? I think it has less to do with the finished product andmore to do with getting one less thing out of my head to mull on. I am a dweller. I will dwell on something until I get it right. I have a hard time letting "things" go. I would love to be one that could easily let things pass. To not think of what's ahead or for that matter what's behind. I am slowly but surely making my way there. I know it will be a process. A process that I may succeed at and other times fail, but at least I am living in the process. Striving to make a more peaceful tomorrow. Just learning how to be.


Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. - Matthew 6:34

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